• Tamina

How do you use the word “if”?

Updated: Aug 10, 2018

I was just thinking how drastically my use of the word “if” has changed since I started meditating. The old me would use it like this:

“if only had the money I would…..”

“if only I had _______ I would be happy”

“if so and so would only call me it would make my day”

“if this or that happened I would finally have the peace and contentment I’ve been looking for”


But now that I’ve been meditating I realize my thought process has changed. I feel more reflective, more thoughtful, more content. Ultimately, I’ve realized that I’m responsible for my happiness. It has nothing to do with all those “what if” scenarios that would run thru my head.


I reflect more on how happy and content I’m feeling. The very fact that my forehead doesn’t have as many creases thru it (wrinkles maybe, but not rigid worry lines 😉 ) I feel serene.

Now that’s not to say that I’m a “Bliss Ninny”! Having the mantra “Life is Good”, even though let’s face it, sometimes it isn’t.


No, happiness is different now. “Stuff” does happen. When life throws me a curve ball, I see it now as a lesson instead of ruminating on “if only” and “what if” that it didn’t happen. It did happen and all that ruminating was very unhealthy for my brain, not to mention the grey matter in it! Now I go thru the problem, not around it. I don’t pretend it never happened or get stuck in the “if only” story.


Those lessons have taught me a great deal about happiness. They have ultimately helped me achieve a greater amount of it! But I have to attend class and learn the lesson it is teaching me.

All that meditating has given me a healthier brain, it has helped build up grey matter, greatly slowing down the ageing process – and really, who doesn’t want a piece of that?! It is giving me the ability to slow down my thoughts and make good decisions instead of jumping to conclusions.

I still have “if” conversations with myself. But now they sound more like this:

“What if I lived more…..”

“What if I laughed more….”

“What if I loved more…..”

And these “ifs” make me smile and let me sleep at night…. and what could be better than that?



Listen to Tamina's audio version:

https://soundcloud.com/user-228569215/blog-how-do-you-use-the-word-ifmp3

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