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  • Writer's pictureTamina

What I Learned in England

Updated: Aug 10, 2018

Robert Holden Group
Robert Holden Group

What if everything you have ever searched for has been yours all along? Is it possible to already have everything you desire but we have put so many blocks between ourselves and it, that we can’t even see it?

These are the questions I pondered last week with 70 other people from around the world at Robert Holden’s “Happiness Coaching” workshop. The world in general looks for what is wrong and how to fix it. But what if our true happiness never went anywhere, we just have covered it with veils of guilt, judgement, anger, resentment, sadness, anxiety, depression and revenge?

I had the privilege of spending time with some very amazing people with incredible stories. Stories that justify all of the above feelings. Stories of lives touched by terrorism, racial hatred, cultural degradation by being born the wrong sex, impact of one time drug use, loss of belonging when your country goes thru political unrest, being abandoned by parents… etc.

And yet I felt like I was in a room of kindred spirits all seeking a better way. A room full of love and acceptance regardless of which country or continent we came from. A perfect mix of conversation, laughter, heartache, and dancing. Robert loves to dance! And by the looks of it, so did we all! My world got very small, and my world views got very big. So easily a person can get lost in their story, but each and every person I met no longer wanted their story to define them. They were willing participants to giving up everything they came to believe to uncover their own happiness, and in the process learning the skills to become “Happiness Coaches” to help those around them.

I spent the first 2 days wondering why I was there. I feel like I’ve spent the past decade or so letting go of beliefs that simply stopped working for me. Then by day 3, 4, and 5 I realized how it’s very possible that I’m still declaring war on the world. Not because I’m angry or violent, but because I still have the “should” mentality. But the “shoulds” I switched to were more like “so and so should do this or that so they can find peace, happiness and serenity”. I felt justified because I wanted good things for others. So even though I was coming from a place of love I was/am still judging others for not measuring up. And really, judgement is judgement no matter what colour you paint it.

One very neat lady I met from Upstate New York said it the very best when she said “I have no borders”. What an amazing statement! One that I am learning every day to adopt. The first couple of days in I commented to my husband of how lucky we are to be Canadian, but really I feel so very lucky to be part of something so much bigger. My life will forever be touched by those 70 people, their stories, their lives, their countries and their cultures. In that room for 5 days I learned and continued to learn how to live my life with no borders.

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