Who am I?
Updated: Aug 10, 2018
This is a question that I pose to all my students. Do we have an immediate answer? Yes and no, but thru meditation, the answer becomes clearer and clearer….
And how much value do we place on that answer? In conversation, people will ask you who you are, by asking what do you do. Because then they can decide for themselves. Is this a true picture of this person? Probably not.
I find it entertaining when people ask me what it is that I do. I tell them that I’m a farmwife. And almost immediately they come to my defence and tell me what a tireless job that must be and how important it is, and “Wow” those are long hours. I even take a moment while they are talking to think “did I say farmwife or did I say just a farmwife?” A few years ago I really needed that validation because being a farmwife, you really don’t have a job description. In the busy season, I am everything from cook, to parts runner, to trucker girl, to auger boss…. and the list goes on. But in the quiet season, well let’s just say some days can be very long and boring.
I grew up a farmer’s daughter which was something I took for granted. Endless hours outside with all my favourite beings – cows, goats, rabbits, dogs, cats, horses, I even had a squirrel that I tamed to eat out of my pocket! They were all my best friends because they kept the best secrets 😉
As I grew up I placed my value on being a college student, investment and loan advisor, fashion consultant, postmistress, housekeeper, activities convenor, photographer…. but my favourite career has always been being a mom and farmwife.
Mind you I will be the first to tell you that to this day I am still intimidated by people with big titles. Even though not once have I wanted to have a “title”. All my best friends growing up had dad’s with “important” titles – doctor, dept store owner, undertaker, accountant etc. When I realized this, in my mind I became just “a farmer’s daughter” and forgot that I possibly had the best childhood because of it.
From the time I was 6 I wanted to be a vet. Not for the status of being a “doctor”, but for the simple fact that I would be able to hang out with all my favourite beings – animals! But that just wasn’t in the cards for me and there was probably a good reason for it.
So when I realized that my childhood dream wasn’t going to be a reality, I decided to take every opportunity that presented itself and indulge in them like they were a luxuries. But my single two best careers? Being a mom (top of the list!) and being a farmwife. What other job allows you to work with your favourite people 24/7, be outside as much as you want in the spring, summer, fall and stay inside as much as you want all winter! So when people try to convince me of how important my job is… I just smile because I already know 😉
But when we get back to the question of “who am I?” Meditation has given me a much different perspective. Some days thru meditation I hit the mark and other days I have to work at it – but I aspire to be Light, Love and Laughter…. because really, what could be better than that?
Listen to Tamina's audio version: